I was tired and lazy last night when I posted, but a lot is happening inside me and out, and I feel inclined to share.
For the first time ever I experienced pain stemming from my sciatic nerve. Of course the pains began while I was bowling for a fundraising event last Saturday. Not even kidding. My entire right butt cheek stiffened and cramped, followed by the rest of my leg. I was grinding my teeth nearly the entire time, but bowled I did. Everyone was already commenting on how they couldn’t believe someone six months pregnant was bowling (I’m pregnant, not disabled), so I couldn’t draw more attention to myself by actually walking the way the cramps were guiding me. Luckily my team only wanted to play one game. Apparently it does this pain no good to sit. That made it worse for me. I stood and stretched out my glutes. Kind of like this except standing “torso” tall in place. It provided temporary relief.
I’m forced to lay on my left side now. My stomach is firming up, when weeks before it was more soft and pudgy, making it more difficult to squeeze between people and chairs, and definitely more difficult to lay peacefully. I feel a lot of cramping, signs that I’m growing, she’s growing.
On a positive note, I love my belly. It’s expanding much more quickly now. I’m still petite, and our baby girl probably will be too, but I love how my stomach is changing. My belly button is right on schedule to disappear entirely in just a few short months and the faint brown line, known as the linea nigra, is back again, trailing from the top of my stomach (which is about where my natural waist line begins) all the way down to my uh-humm.
A co-worker was concerned that I wasn’t hydrating my skin enough with lotions, so she brought me in a bottle of some type of skin firming lotion from Mary Kay. I sat it on the bathroom windowsill next to my sink so I’m more inclined to use it after showers. I consistently used cocoa butter lotion last pregnancy and still ended up with stretch marks near my inner thighs. Nonetheless, I’m lotioning more now.
Baby girl is active. I try to take note of the times she’s moving around as she is getting into more of a routine. I can feel multiple movements spanning my stomach all at once fairly often now. She’s growing, and come late summer she will be here in all her baby glory.
I pulled out a couple tubs of Jolie’s old baby clothes to go through, and of course immediately teared up. Jolie was this small once. So, so small. I’m interested and so excited to see how different my girls are. How they grow as sisters; How Brett and I grow as parents.
I used to think that the whole “pregnancy glow” was a load of bs, but I honestly go through spurts in my day when I am overwhelmed with happiness thinking about how in a few short months we will be welcoming another daughter, another big-eyed, gorgeous skinned- daughter, into our lives. I cannot wait to nurse her, cannot wait to eat (not really eat) her little pebbles (what my mom called my toes as a child, and has stuck with me) and smell her baby goodness.
My friend heartburn is back in my life. I knew he was lurking around. He tends to visit at night, when I’m at my weakest point, sprawled out in bed. I hate Tums. I hated Tums the last time I was pregnant. It’s flavored chalk. I bought flavored chalk. Yes, it does work. But the aftertaste, well, it’s enough to make one sick.
Hello. Hello. I’ve been consumed with work, home projects, etc. that I haven’t been on Tumblr too much. I love hearing about all the happenings in your lives now that spring is in full force and everyone is busy doing things in their gardens, with their apparel, family and talents. This is so much better than winter, right?!
I love Cincinnati in the spring/summertime. At home, we watch the fireworks from the Red’s stadium when they play at home and on Fridays during their after game display. This always symbolizes the transition from winter to spring for me. We ride our bikes around a park that overlooks the city until dusk, more Jolie these days than us. Sit out on the deck in our secret garden, tiki torches burning into the deep blue sky and talk with friends into the early hours of dawn (last year accompanied with vodka-cranberries and slice of lime). Go to local bars and listen to local bands. There is always a show somewhere in town. Spaghetti strapped dresses and flips flops. And of course catch lightening bugs. I still do. I’ve learned to let them go and not keep them overnight. They are fun to watch inside a mason jar as they light up a ceiling in a dark room…not so much fun the next morning as they lay limp on blades of grass. Lessons learned in childhood.
This marks our second spring in our home. What better way to welcome spring than with gardening? Over the past couple of weekends, we planted additional sage and lavender in our front yard, along with a couple Kentucky/Ohio native plants. Jolie and I both love lavender the best. When we water everything or walk around outside we grab a leaf and gently rub it between our index finger and thumb. I catch Jolie inhaling the scent every once and a while. Secretly I do the same. I can’t wait to dry it out and stash it in little satchels to place around the house. I hope it does okay this year. The soil is moist and full of worms and snails, which I take as a sign of fertile ground. We’ve had rain fall for the past three days. Our backyard is blooming; it happened almost overnight. The peonies look like they are ready to burst. Any day now. They are one of my favorites. Too bad their blooms only last a few weeks. Alas, there is always something else ready to bud, bloom and awe in their place.
I hope you all are finding the joys of your neighborhoods in full bloom!
One of the classes I presented to last week requires that each student presents one “newsworthy article” from a valid news source that must relate to the student presenting the article. The student takes a couple of minutes at the beginning of class to offer up the abstract and how this relates to them.
During my time there a student selected an article from the New York Times. She explained that she selected the article based on the fact that it reflected what I taught them in our program about how Boys/Girls and Men/Women are negatively affected by gender stereotyping in our society. More specifically, how gender stereotyping creates a barrier for equality in a healthy relationship.
Blushing, I attentively listened to her description of the article.
I went home and searched for the NY Times article and was surprised to find that I was able to access the entire article, not just the abstract, so I wanted to share it with all of you!
Not only did it apply to the program, but I could relate to it on a personal level. I’m sure many mommy/daddy bloggers can relate to this article, especially if your circumstances find you juggling family, love, work and social life. The past couple of generations are vastly different from Grandma and Grandpa’s generation, particularly in the family dynamic area. Mom isn’t holding a whisk. She’s holding baby in one arm, blackberry in the other. And daddy has diaper duty.
Even though I feel confident that my marriage is absolutely equal, I will admit, going through college while working, running an organization and taking care of baby, I (at times) felt like I wasn’t being the best “mom.” Maybe it isn’t even that I felt I was a mom-failure as much as I felt I was being judged as such. I think we all feel this way at times thanks to societal pressure.
I remember Jolie and her personal case of the “terrible two’s.” I was on the phone one afternoon describing her behavior to my grandpa and how I couldn’t believe such a small person could be capable of acting out the way she was, seeing as our earthly influences on her began a mere two years prior. His response, essentially, was that he finds the household dynamic “these days” to be the reason for this behavior. He indirectly spoke on how during his child rearing years a parent (he carefully chose his words) stayed home and, consequently, the parent’s full-time presence positively impacted the child and their needs. OUCH. He basically told me my hard-work ethic, goals and parenting were not being executed in an effective way, and I needed to balance my life to center completely around my child. My current life choices were bad ones. I never forgot this conversation.
This article reinforced my confidence in my life-altering decisions. Every family dynamic is different, and it should be your choice how you run your household. I think in our house Jolie has positively benefited from a daycare that promotes socializing and learning, while mom and dad have continued their education and focused on personal career goals. We have dinner as a family, without TV, and spend the evening doing family things, as well as the weekends. This is our life and it works for us.
This article totally scored brownie points with me. Equality = Positive Family Dynamic.
yesterday morning began like any other Monday morning. Hit the snooze button, or pushed OK on my phone, for twenty minutes before swinging my feet to the floorboards and walking to the bathroom to pee.
That’s when “they” started. The cramps. The tension triggered in my upper abdomen sent surges of cramps, extensions of the source if you will, throughout my entire middle section. It hurt, but I figured they would last momentarily so I hopped in the tub only to find myself stuck and unable to get out. Anytime I moved, the cramps became more intense. Without realizing it, I began deep breathing. After several minutes, I clenched my teeth turned to my side and put all my weight on my hands and arms as I managed my way out of the tub. Finally, I went into my bedroom, turned on the light and told Brett that we needed to go to the hospital, or at least call the doctor. Something was happening. Something that I haven’t experienced before and I am fearful that this could be the onset of labor, especially once I realized that I had been involuntarily deeply breathing.
I called the doctor who informed me that it sounded like I was experiencing ligament tension and would probably experience cramping for the next couple of days, which would leave my body extremely sore. He advised me to take 30 minute hot baths and Tylenol. He also suggested that I stay off my feet as much as possible. He told me that if the pain persisted or if I was concerned to call back. That is a HUGE recommendation I have for expectant parents. If your gut tells you something is wrong, then call or even go to the hospital!!! This is the first time with either pregnancy that I have called the doctor, and I had every intention of calling back if the pain didn’t subside.The doctor was basing my condition off of a phone conversation. That can only go so far in times of true need.
I was still intent on going into work, but decided to lay on my side for a few minutes and breath through the treacherous cramps. I couldn’t get back up after that. Brett spooned me and rubbed my stomach and back for a little over an hour, making it into work a bit late. He’s always my calming presence. That’s one of the things I love about him. After a couple of hours I drifted off to sleep and didn’t wake until after noon. My body felt like it had went to war: muscles sore and aching. Alas, I did not go into labor:)
This false alarm reminded me of the endurance one’s body undergoes to deliver a baby. I tried to keep calm,talked quietly with Brett and of course kept breathing, but the consistent pain reminded me that I need to mentally prepare for what my body will undergo when it really is time. I know that it’s part of the process, and I am so glad to be a mommy, but it isn’t easy (physically or mentally) and I want to be in a peaceful state of mind for what I know can last hours, testing my stamina and proving my body’s potential that I never saw before. So what do you, tumblrs, suggest is a great way to prepare for labor? I’m curious to hear from others on what worked, what didn’t and how some of you remained calm in the turbulence of labor.
Things I can't live without right now (most of which are food items).
1. My belly band from Motherhood Maternity. I bought this during my first pregnancy for extra support as my lower back seemed to suffer from carrying the baby. This pregnancy the band has become my non-negotiable item. Baby girl is sitting oh-so low right now and my ligaments are stretching like crazy, making the pressure and pulls unavoidable at this point. This hoists me up enough to get me through the day. It surprisingly makes a huge difference.
2. Strawberry-Banana Smoothies from the Deli around the corner from my office. I’ve always loved my smoothies, and now they’ve become a great snack in between meals. This particular joint makes them just the way I like sans heavy syrup and canned fruit.
3. Sausage-egg and cheese biscuits from McDonald’s. (This pic is not displaying the beautiful cheese) I finally caught on to the fact that I have been purchasing roughly one of these bad boys a week. This must be my pregnancy craving. Actually, the morning I went into labor with Jolie I managed to eat a half of one in between contractions and nothing else the entire day. My soul food.
4. Guacamole with diced tomatoes. Yum. Yum. Yum. I’ve been eating a few servings a week. It always sounds good to me.
5. My body pillow. I have been meaning to get another one, so I can have one to arch my leg over and the other to line up against my back. This baby helps me through the night when my lower back is tormenting me and my ligaments are cramping and pulling. I heart you body pillow. I do, I do.
6. Water. I love water pregnant or not and I drink it like nobodies business.
7. Stretching. Stretching not only relaxes my muscles, but reminds me to breath. I can’t say that I stretch every day, but I do stretch often. It feels so good, and is supposed to be great way to condition your body for labor, which I totally agree with from past experience.
So my appointment was scheduled for 4 and it’s 4:40. I’m quite hungry and have a meeting at 6.
Perhaps I’m cranky-hungry, but the receptionist has rubbed me the wrong way and I feel like calling her out on it. She’s cordial and professional, but not considerig her word usage. Both when I checked-in and when I asked her a question she has referred to me as “hun.” This is one of my pet peeves. It’s only okay to call me that when I know the person. Otherwise, to me, it’s condescending. Sure enough, the bitch has referred to other patients as “ma’am.” I almost went up to indirectly set her in her place. Let her know that I’m no “hun,” but instead I’m posting this blog. She probably doesn’t intend to come off as rude, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t.
Maybe it’s the cranky-hungry getting ahold of me. But only maybe.
Okay, so I was driving to a school for work yesterday, and channel surfing. I stopped on the sounds of someone being bleeped out every other word. A local radio station had interviewed Tracy Morgan and had to edit lots of the interview to the point that they (apparently) had to do another interview.
I usually like the radio personalities on this particular station, but am not so sure after yesterday’s commentary on this particular interview. I really stopped to listen because we had gone and seen Mr. Morgan at a local comedy club a few years back and IT. WAS. TERRIBLE. He had no witty skits to share, just ass and titties. He offended one woman up front to the point that mid-act she stood up for all to see her silouette against the stage lighting, and walked out. Her husband stood up after an awkward amount of time, and hesitantly fled out after her. Tracy had nothing to share but vulgarity. I know a lot of comedians say vulgar things, and I am not a prude, at least I don’t think I am, but it was as if all he could say were derogatory terms about female body parts and what he likes to do to said body part. Not even kidding. One line after another. And this was all he talked about. I looked around to see if anyone else shared my contempt for the bullshit we overpaid for, and sure enough eye brows (of both women AND men) were being raised across the room of high top tables and bar stools. After a while, some people, including myself, just began talking to the people they had come with.
From what I gathered that’s what he offered up in the interview on the radio station. He talked about what he would do (sexually) to the female DJ’s who host the show, most of which was bleeped out. They admitted that it was as if he couldn’t stop (being vulgar) once he got started, but were laughing and saying how entertaining he was. I couldn’t believe it. Well, I guess I could. This is the same culture that has adopted the Twilight series as valid literature. I’ve never called into a radio station, but felt inclined to after yesterday.
Tracy Morgan symbolizes what is wrong with our society. This may be a strong statement, but I stand by it. This whole “Boys will be boys” mentality is exactly why this shit is tolerated. Have a back bone, and tell the fucker he isn’t funny, he doesn’t deserve his paycheck, and he absolutely needs to stop his stand-up act.
I was really shocked that he was picked up to be part of the cast of 30 Rock. But I suppose if someone is writing his script and holding money in front of his face, he has no problem delivering something with a little more substance. And he works with Tina Fey? Really? Apparently she hasn’t seen his stand-up comedy. There’s no fucking way.
but i think my family is finally falling into a functional routine for the holidays. The first few years were terrible. (I know I’ve posted about surviving the holidays when both me and my spouse come from divorced/re-married parents, and how dreadful (DREADFUL) of time it was for us). We couldn’t get the swing of things (the constant fluidity), and felt that spreading ourselves thin was too stressful. In the end, we ultimately disappointed everyone else too. The past holiday season was lovely. We spent Christmas in our new home, and had relatives over for dinner. Jolie was able to play Polly Pocket Roller Coaster all day, and nap, without interruptions or long car drives. We asserted ourselves and put our family first without worrying who would oppose our plans. It’s a great method.
Easter was lovely, too. The weather was gorgeous. Sunny and warm. Food was delicious and just what the doctor baby ordered. I got to hang with my adorable niece who cooed and babbled all afternoon. I even adapted patty cake to the feet version, and now it’s totally “our” thing. I watched Jolie search for eggs, challenges are thrilling for her. And I finally got the knack of timing our visits and travel without feeling rushed or worried.
We even went the entire day without arguing over anything petty. As we tucked Jolie into bed she told us she had a great Easter and turned on her side to sleep. I think Easter, and what it symbolizes,was represented in our family yesterday. For this gift, I feel blessed.
Thanks! I was thinking the same thing about little miss Aubrey! She has such a little doll face. She looks so innocent. I know kids aren’t completely innocent, but she looks like the type that isn’t at all mean-spirited when doing something mom and dad disapprove of.
Last week we were at McDonald’s and I saw this little girl sitting with her mother (I’m assuming), and I thought to myself, “I know that little girl from somewhere…” And then it clicked. And the little Aubrey look-a-like kept glancing over at me as if she were thinking the same thing. What area of the U.S. are you guys from? I’m in the greater Cincinnati area and your daughter’s clone lives here:)
That’s what spring brings. Hope. New beginnings. Birth. Growth. Overnight, trees bud and bloom. It’s incredible. Trees that stood naked,are now cloaked in the loveliest shades of whites and pinks. Birds chirp, beckoning the sunrise. And the old house smells linger in every room. It’s here. In full bloom. Life in all of us.
Babies have a way of putting life into perspective. It’s fascinating actually. All those trivial matters that tend to consume us seem nothing more than trivial. It’s easy to stay tense, dwell on deadlines and chore lists and forget how to leave this place, or even how you got there to begin with. But not when life is budding. It’s captivating. You can’t help but walk backwards to life.
We heard the baby’s heartbeat today. We saw the baby today. Watched it kick me, extending its knobby little knees back and forth. Watched the four chambers of their heart. We made this. It’s amazing. I feel so grounded every time I hear their little heart beat. beat. beat. Every time I feel their limbs floating through my body.So in love. Again and again.
I'm rubbing off on my kid and it's not a good thing
I must be complaining about the growing pains of my pregnancy way too much lately because my daughter is beginning to regurgitate what I say and apply it to herself. She’s like a mirror. You know that funny expression your friends tell you you make when you dance, or play a sport, or sing? Or the “but ums,” you squeeze in every other word to bridge your run-on sentences? The things you never realize, but others can easily point out? Have a kid, and they’ll imitate your mannerisms for you. Verbatim.
Jolie has consistently complained that her back is hurting and has designated Brett to rubbing her every day. I’m not even kidding. Every day. She dramatically tilts her head back, frowns her eye brows and declares that her back hurts “so bad”.
Just now she did the same thing except replaced “back” with “boobs”. Yes, boobs! She said, “They just hurt everywhere.” Wait until they’re actually there to hurt, little woman.
Some people may find pregnant shots completely offensive. Is so, that’s cool, just breeze past my previous post and don’t view the rest of this one. I’m tracking a lot of my pregnancy on Tumblr, so it’s more for my personal reference.
For those who want to see pregnant belly comparisons, view below:
24 weeks, 2005
20 weeks, 2010
There is about a month difference between the two pics, but I think I was smaller last time. I was also much younger. Damn metabolism.
“Abortion is not a dirty word and I am sick and tired of watching holier than thou white men in Congress pretending that they have any concept of what a woman goes through when making such an important decision. For some women it is a time of great sadness – a pregnancy gone wrong, a wanted child not to be. For some women it is a time of great relief – a decision to delay parenthood. It is a deeply, personal decision made for deeply, personal reasons. And, yes, for some women it is a decision they choose not to make – again for deeply personal reasons. Bart Stupak, if you want to reduce abortions, vote to fully fund family planning and comprehensive sex education. Otherwise, shut the hell up. We don’t care what you think about our wombs.”—
My thoughts exactly. I wish I could fast forward to my daughter’s adulthood and see what is being debating on the healthcare front, and if old, balding white men are going to continue to argue that they have to defend what is right to avoid hell. Worry about your old, white man sperm, and we ladies we’ll worry about our wombs. Assholes.
Dinner was great. The hot soup appetizer hit the spot and soothed my sinuses momentarily. The “show” as Jolie calls the chef’s preparation of the food was entertaining and I was nourished.
However, Brett’s dad, step-mom and brother/Jolie’s uncle were the reason we pushed the time back, and they didn’t end up coming. Brett’s grandmother came into the restaurant hugging and kissing all over Jolie while we sat in the entrance way (they don’t seat parties until everyone has arrived). Finally, after a few minutes (maybe five), Jolie brought up her uncle (who is 9) in some way or another and Brett’s grandma was like, “Oh, they’re not coming,” and went back to hugging Jolie some more. I hopped out of the bar stool as she ended her sentence and said, “Huh. Well, let’s eat then,” and grabbed the hostess.