for instance

I was tired and lazy last night when I posted, but a lot is happening inside me and out, and I feel inclined to share.

For the first time ever I experienced pain stemming from my sciatic nerve. Of course the pains began while I was bowling for a fundraising event last Saturday. Not even kidding. My entire right butt cheek stiffened and cramped, followed by the rest of my leg. I was grinding my teeth nearly the entire time, but bowled I did. Everyone was already commenting on how they couldn’t believe someone six months pregnant was bowling (I’m pregnant, not disabled), so I couldn’t draw more attention to myself by actually walking the way the cramps were guiding me. Luckily my team only wanted to play one game. Apparently it does this pain no good to sit. That made it worse for me. I stood and stretched out my glutes. Kind of like this except standing “torso” tall in place. It provided temporary relief.

I’m forced to lay on my left side now. My stomach is firming up, when weeks before it was more soft and pudgy, making it more difficult to squeeze between people and chairs, and definitely more difficult to lay peacefully. I feel a lot of cramping, signs that I’m growing, she’s growing.

On a positive note, I love my belly. It’s expanding much more quickly now. I’m still petite, and our baby girl probably will be too, but I love how my stomach is changing. My belly button is right on schedule to disappear entirely in just a few short months and the faint brown line, known as the linea nigra, is back again, trailing from the top of my stomach (which is about where my natural waist line begins) all the way down to my uh-humm.

A co-worker was concerned that I wasn’t hydrating my skin enough with lotions, so she brought me in a bottle of some type of skin firming lotion from Mary Kay. I sat it on the bathroom windowsill next to my sink so I’m more inclined to use it after showers. I consistently used cocoa butter lotion last pregnancy and still ended up with stretch marks near my inner thighs. Nonetheless, I’m lotioning more now.

Baby girl is active. I try to take note of the times she’s moving around as she is getting into more of a routine. I can feel multiple movements spanning my stomach all at once fairly often now. She’s growing, and come late summer she will be here in all her baby glory.

I pulled out a couple tubs of Jolie’s old baby clothes to go through, and of course immediately teared up. Jolie was this small once. So, so small. I’m interested and so excited to see how different my girls are. How they grow as sisters; How Brett and I grow as parents.

I used to think that the whole “pregnancy glow” was a load of bs, but I honestly go through spurts in my day when I am overwhelmed with happiness thinking about how in a few short months we will be welcoming another daughter, another big-eyed, gorgeous skinned- daughter, into our lives. I cannot wait to nurse her, cannot wait to eat (not really eat) her little pebbles (what my mom called my toes as a child, and has stuck with me) and smell her baby goodness.

I’m aglow.

My friend heartburn is back in my life. I knew he was lurking around. He tends to visit at night, when I’m at my weakest point, sprawled out in bed. I hate Tums. I hated Tums the last time I was pregnant. It’s flavored chalk. I bought flavored chalk. Yes, it does work. But the aftertaste, well, it’s enough to make one sick.

Hello. Hello. I’ve been consumed with work, home projects, etc. that I haven’t been on Tumblr too much. I love hearing about all the happenings in your lives now that spring is in full force and everyone is busy doing things in their gardens, with their apparel, family and talents. This is so much better than winter, right?!

I love Cincinnati in the spring/summertime. At home, we watch the fireworks from the Red’s stadium when they play at home and on Fridays during their after game display. This always symbolizes the transition from winter to spring for me. We ride our bikes around a park that overlooks the city until dusk, more Jolie these days than us. Sit out on the deck in our secret garden, tiki torches burning into the deep blue sky and talk with friends into the early hours of dawn (last year accompanied with vodka-cranberries and slice of lime). Go to local bars and listen to local bands. There is always a show somewhere in town. Spaghetti strapped dresses and flips flops. And of course catch lightening bugs. I still do. I’ve learned to let them go and not keep them overnight. They are fun to watch inside a mason jar as they light up a ceiling in a dark room…not so much fun the next morning as they lay limp on blades of grass. Lessons learned in childhood.

This marks our second spring in our home. What better way to welcome spring than with gardening? Over the past couple of weekends, we planted additional sage and lavender in our front yard, along with a couple Kentucky/Ohio native plants. Jolie and I both love lavender the best. When we water everything or walk around outside we grab a leaf and gently rub it between our index finger and thumb. I catch Jolie inhaling the scent every once and a while. Secretly I do the same. I can’t wait to dry it out and stash it in little satchels to place around the house. I hope it does okay this year. The soil is moist and full of worms and snails, which I take as a sign of fertile ground. We’ve had rain fall for the past three days. Our backyard is blooming; it happened almost overnight. The peonies look like they are ready to burst. Any day now. They are one of my favorites. Too bad their blooms only last a few weeks. Alas, there is always something else ready to bud, bloom and awe in their place.

I hope you all are finding the joys of your neighborhoods in full bloom!

yesterday morning began like any other Monday morning. Hit the snooze button, or pushed OK on my phone, for twenty minutes before swinging my feet to the floorboards and walking to the bathroom to pee.

That’s when “they” started. The cramps. The tension triggered in my upper abdomen sent surges of cramps, extensions of the source if you will, throughout my entire middle section. It hurt, but I figured they would last momentarily so I hopped in the tub only to find myself stuck and unable to get out. Anytime I moved, the cramps became more intense. Without realizing it, I began deep breathing. After several minutes, I clenched my teeth turned to my side and put all my weight on my hands and arms as I managed my way out of the tub. Finally, I went into my bedroom, turned on the light and told Brett that we needed to go to the hospital, or at least call the doctor. Something was happening. Something that I haven’t experienced before and I am fearful that this could be the onset of labor, especially once I realized that I had been involuntarily deeply breathing.

I called the doctor who informed me that it sounded like I was experiencing ligament tension and would probably experience cramping for the next couple of days, which would leave my body extremely sore. He advised me to take 30 minute hot baths and Tylenol. He also suggested that I stay off my feet as much as possible. He told me that if the pain persisted or if I was concerned to call back. That is a HUGE recommendation I have for expectant parents. If your gut tells you something is wrong, then call or even go to the hospital!!! This is the first time with either pregnancy that I have called the doctor, and I had every intention of calling back if the pain didn’t subside.The doctor was basing my condition off of a phone conversation. That can only go so far in times of true need.

I was still intent on going into work, but decided to lay on my side for a few minutes and breath through the treacherous cramps. I couldn’t get back up after that. Brett spooned me and rubbed my stomach and back for a little over an hour, making it into work a bit late. He’s always my calming presence. That’s one of the things I love about him. After a couple of hours I drifted off to sleep and didn’t wake until after noon. My body felt like it had went to war: muscles sore and aching. Alas, I did not go into labor:)

This false alarm reminded me of the endurance one’s body undergoes to deliver a baby. I tried to keep calm,talked quietly with Brett and of course kept breathing, but the consistent pain reminded me that I need to mentally prepare for what my body will undergo when it really is time. I know that it’s part of the process, and I am so glad to be a mommy, but it isn’t easy (physically or mentally) and I want to be in a peaceful state of mind for what I know can last hours, testing my stamina and proving my body’s potential that I never saw before. So what do you, tumblrs, suggest is a great way to prepare for labor? I’m curious to hear from others on what worked, what didn’t and how some of you remained calm in the turbulence of labor.

1. My belly band from Motherhood Maternity. I bought this during my first pregnancy for extra support as my lower back seemed to suffer from carrying the baby. This pregnancy the band has become my non-negotiable item. Baby girl is sitting oh-so low right now and my ligaments are stretching like crazy, making the pressure and pulls unavoidable at this point. This hoists me up enough to get me through the day. It surprisingly makes a huge difference.

2. Strawberry-Banana Smoothies from the Deli around the corner from my office. I’ve always loved my smoothies, and now they’ve become a great snack in between meals. This particular joint makes them just the way I like sans heavy syrup and canned fruit.

3. Sausage-egg and cheese biscuits from McDonald’s. (This pic is not displaying the beautiful cheese) I finally caught on to the fact that I have been purchasing roughly one of these bad boys a week. This must be my pregnancy craving. Actually, the morning I went into labor with Jolie I managed to eat a half of one in between contractions and nothing else the entire day. My soul food.

4. Guacamole with diced tomatoes. Yum. Yum. Yum. I’ve been eating a few servings a week. It always sounds good to me.

5. My body pillow. I have been meaning to get another one, so I can have one to arch my leg over and the other to line up against my back. This baby helps me through the night when my lower back is tormenting me and my ligaments are cramping and pulling. I heart you body pillow. I do, I do.

6. Water. I love water pregnant or not and I drink it like nobodies business.

7. Stretching. Stretching not only relaxes my muscles, but reminds me to breath. I can’t say that I stretch every day, but I do stretch often. It feels so good, and is supposed to be great way to condition your body for labor, which I totally agree with from past experience.

Now excuse me, I’m going to go organize my basement.

So my appointment was scheduled for 4 and it’s 4:40. I’m quite hungry and have a meeting at 6.

Perhaps I’m cranky-hungry, but the receptionist has rubbed me the wrong way and I feel like calling her out on it. She’s cordial and professional, but not considerig her word usage. Both when I checked-in and when I asked her a question she has referred to me as “hun.” This is one of my pet peeves. It’s only okay to call me that when I know the person. Otherwise, to me, it’s condescending. Sure enough, the bitch has referred to other patients as “ma’am.” I almost went up to indirectly set her in her place. Let her know that I’m no “hun,” but instead I’m posting this blog. She probably doesn’t intend to come off as rude, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t.

Maybe it’s the cranky-hungry getting ahold of me. But only maybe.

Okay, so I was driving to a school for work yesterday, and channel surfing. I stopped on the sounds of someone being bleeped out every other word. A local radio station had interviewed Tracy Morgan and had to edit lots of the interview to the point that they (apparently) had to do another interview.

I usually like the radio personalities on this particular station, but am not so sure after yesterday’s commentary on this particular interview. I really stopped to listen because we had gone and seen Mr. Morgan at a local comedy club a few years back and IT. WAS. TERRIBLE. He had no witty skits to share, just ass and titties. He offended one woman up front to the point that mid-act she stood up for all to see her silouette against the stage lighting, and walked out. Her husband stood up after an awkward amount of time, and hesitantly fled out after her. Tracy had nothing to share but vulgarity. I know a lot of comedians say vulgar things, and I am not a prude, at least I don’t think I am, but it was as if all he could say were derogatory terms about female body parts and what he likes to do to said body part. Not even kidding. One line after another. And this was all he talked about.  I looked around to see if anyone else shared my contempt for the bullshit we overpaid for, and sure enough eye brows (of both women AND men) were being raised across the room of high top tables and bar stools. After a while, some people, including myself, just began talking to the people they had come with.

From what I gathered that’s what he offered up in the interview on the radio station. He talked about what he would do (sexually) to the female DJ’s who host the show, most of which was bleeped out. They admitted that it was as if he couldn’t stop (being vulgar) once he got started, but were laughing and saying how entertaining he was. I couldn’t believe it. Well, I guess I could. This is the same culture that has adopted the Twilight series as valid literature. I’ve never called into a radio station, but felt inclined to after yesterday.

Tracy Morgan symbolizes what is wrong with our society. This may be a strong statement, but I stand by it. This whole “Boys will be boys” mentality is exactly why this shit is tolerated. Have a back bone, and tell the fucker he isn’t funny, he doesn’t deserve his paycheck, and he absolutely needs to stop his stand-up act.

I was really shocked that he was picked up to be part of the cast of 30 Rock. But I suppose if someone is writing his script and holding money in front of his face, he has no problem delivering something with a little more substance. And he works with Tina Fey? Really? Apparently she hasn’t seen his stand-up comedy. There’s no fucking way.

but i think my family is finally falling into a functional routine for the holidays. The first few years were terrible. (I know I’ve posted about surviving the holidays when both me and my spouse come from divorced/re-married parents, and how dreadful (DREADFUL) of time it was for us). We couldn’t get the swing of things (the constant fluidity), and felt that spreading ourselves thin was too stressful. In the end, we ultimately disappointed everyone else too. The past holiday season was lovely. We spent Christmas in our new home, and had relatives over for dinner. Jolie was able to play Polly Pocket Roller Coaster all day, and nap, without interruptions or long car drives. We asserted ourselves and put our family first without worrying who would oppose our plans. It’s a great method.

Easter was lovely, too. The weather was gorgeous. Sunny and warm. Food was delicious and just what the doctor baby ordered. I got to hang with my adorable niece who cooed and babbled all afternoon. I even adapted patty cake to the feet version, and now it’s totally “our” thing.  I watched Jolie search for eggs, challenges are thrilling for her. And I finally got the knack of timing our visits and travel without feeling rushed or worried. 

We even went the entire day without arguing over anything petty. As we tucked Jolie into bed she told us she had a great Easter and turned on her side to sleep. I think Easter, and what it symbolizes,was represented in our family yesterday. For this gift, I feel blessed.