We’re guinea pig-watching for ash and john over the Thanksgiving holiday. Jolie and I picked them up last night, and Jolie is absolutely comical with these little creatures. We went over the rules to assure us all that Scarlet and Skunk will return in one piece: no touching or feeding them without mommy and daddy.
Last night Brett carried them into the house in their little Rubbermaid tub while I grabbed my bags from shopping. Jolie sat on the first step in the foyer looking down at the guinea pigs. She said, “Daddy, ask me why I’m sitting here.” So he did. “I’m watching the benny pigs so Stella doesn’t get them.” Then she said to him, “Daddy, tell me what comes after 2.” He asked her what. “3,” she held up three fingers, “That’s how old they are,” she explained very matter of fact, with wide eyes.
The piggy banks are still uncertain of their current living situation, but Jolie wants them to like her so badly. She’s actually being gentle and talking to them in her quiet, high-pitched, sympathetic voice.
I’m sure she went to school and told her best friend and teachers all about her friend, Ashley’s, benny pigs that are staying with her for a few nights.
i made my “2009 Christmas Receipts” envelope where i tuck gift receipts that have been marked with recipient’s names. i want to get this gift giving business on a role.
ash and i had a nice little night: dinner and a trip to Old Time Pottery. i stocked up on holiday cheer! i’ll be sure to post pics of my latest decor/creations. it’s no secret that i love me some pottery barn, but i hate me some pottery barn prices, so i snagged their ideas for a fraction of the price. tis’ the season! i love this time of year. our house reeks of cinnamon (i purchased a bag of cinnamon pine cones last week at the grocery store and stored them by the vent. it reminds me of when i was little).
i woke up this morning with a ligt, cold breeze hitting my bottom. i was in my bed with my husband (i don’t remember getting there). but without pants. my interrogation session this morning was comical, and if i didn’t have any pride i would totally share. let’s just say it ended with me saying, “When you were finished did you just roll me back over on my side?”
7 or so vodka and cranberries into the night, i emptied out my system. you know you’re really drunk when you think the night is the best night ever (which in some respects it was a great night, with a great spread of food and the best company a girl could ask for.) and then people begin leaving, when you’re at the height of your “best night ever.” then you realize just how drunk you are and it’s not even midnight.
you would think it was a full moon the way bad shit has been going down. perhaps “New Moon” brought this on, which would further support my hatred for the series. i keep reminding myself of all the people and things in my life that i’m thankful for. i have a lot to be thankful for, and after the past year or so, i feel so grateful with my current situation: house. health. friendship(s). warm meals.
but this week conspired against me. and tonight, is game night at the homestead. we will eat, drink and be really fucking merry with people who don’t suck the life out of life. cheers.
if you’re currently down or feel like one bad thing lines up for the next bad thing, consider the good things. it could always be worse.
you’re doing it again. what’s more, you don’t even realize it. or perhaps the realization is buried under your pride. right next to the children. your children. we’ll be just fine. like frank said, we’re doing it our way.
Yeah, I’m not well-received in the high school (which is where I typically am for my job). Today, girls are buzzing about their late-night escapade to the movies to see New Moon. This series goes against everything we talk about in our teen dating violence prevention program….and the girls are lining up in masses, with “Edward” T-shirts to show their homage to the bullshit that is this series. Thedivineash didn’t mention it, but the books are terribly (horribly) written, as well. Romance, my ass. I think I’m going to have to write a book about the fucking bomb ass girl that saved her self and lived happily ever after, with occasional bad days (and that’s okay, too) for ever and ever. And then read it to my little bomb ass girl at bedtime.
I HATE Twilight. It is a movie about abusive relationships. 100%. It is in exact opposition to all that I work for, live for, believe in, and stand up against. It is the exact example we give to students in high schools about warning sings to watch for abuse.
HE FUCKING TELLS HER HE WILL KILL HER. Bleh.
I wish I had the book in front of me right now, because there is this passage where they are in his room and he is wrestling with her and the author describes his arms as “a cage of steel” or some shit and then she tells him to stop and says he’s hurting her and expresses that she is scared and he keeps doing what he is doing until, UNTIL SOMEONE WALKS IN, which is when he quickly positions her on his lap and she says something like, “as if nothing was happening.”
Not to mention that he stalks her. STALKS HER AND WATCHES HER SLEEP and the book turns it into this romanticized version of love or commitment or some shit. It’s not. IT’S A FUCKING WARNING SIGN!
Also, I hear that in the second, third whatever many books that he starts trying to control who she hangs around.
what we learned at jolie's parent(s)/teacher conference:
-jolie does well with all of her numbers, shapes, colors, rhyming, and patterns
-jolie shows excellent attention to detail, which she demonstrated through a reading comprehension test.
-jolie has been on yellow card once (which is a warning) and she openly admitted this to us when it happened. sometimes she can be so honest, but she is definitely learning how to avoid/defer responsibility for her actions.
-jolie and mia (her bff) have a love/hate relationship and some days the teachers split them up in different groups so that they can have a breather from one another. cliques start at such a young age.
-during free time, jolie likes to have some of the kids sit (like at circle time) while she teaches them things on the calendar, weather chart, etc.
-her teacher informed us, she will have homework in the spring. a reading packet. homework at 4?! homework?! we always go over what she’s learning at school and other things, but i don’t like the sound of homework. she’s my baby….my baby who is on her way to kindergarten. sigh.
As a housewarming present my Ne Ne (grandma) decided to have a consultant come in and assist us with window treatments for the living room. We’ve been having trouble envisioning the perfect layout for several reasons. One being that our front window is divided into three windows, two long and skinny and one a perfect square with stain glass overhead. I was thrilled she offered to do this for us because it meant we could spend more on other things for the room. After our Pottery Barn rug purchase , I felt better prepared to design. The consultation was last night. It was going smoothly really. Brett and I were narrowing things down at an impressive rate (i.e. what style of pleat we wanted at the top, what type of fabric, etc), and without much interference from Ne Ne. Then came the “totaling.” The girl started penciling numbers, first $250 and then another $250. Brett and I were thinking, wow that’s a lot but not over the top. But no, she wasn’t finished. The number you are about to see made my stomach curl. I even asked Ne Ne to reconsider. After all, the curtains (6 panels total, nearly ceiling to floor) were accents. We already purchased blinds to block light. And the measurements we decided on will allow the panels to extend over the wall and only a quarter of the way on the windows. This, we decided, would make the windows look bigger. My point being, we aren’t even using fabric to cover the entire window, it’s mini-fabric, if you will. Our mini- panels rang in at a grand total of…..I’m so embarrassed….please don’t judge me….nearly $1600.00 with sales tax. Including the blinds, we will have spent over $2000.00 on window treatments in our living room. I even called my Ne Ne while she and my Pa Pa were driving home to ask her to reconsider. I wouldn’t have even allowed her to make the appointment if I knew it would be remotely close to that total. Brett feels bad and won’t quit talking about how stupid it is that they charge that much, and keeps adding up how much we spent on similar panels from IKEA (a percentage of how much these cost). He said, ” How could that girl do that job when she knowingly helps people overspend on curtains? Curtains. I’d feel too bad.” Well, come mid-January, some men will be visiting our house to install curtains. Curtains that I will pass down to my children as a heirloom, promising to haunt them if they spill anything on them. Our next child will see those curtains as a perfect coloring book. Gulp.
Well put! Polar opposite of The Twilight Series. My child will one day hate and love me for encouraging her to be strong and independent unlike what she’ll see in the movies she will absolutely love.
I have never been wonky over or get a lady boner for romance. I’m not interested in romance. I love and I love hard and deep, but I don’t swoon for romance. I got shit to do. I have places to be, people to see, and staap that shit.
You know what romance does for me? It reminds me of every 19th Century novel about British ladies suffering and having issues about men named Perceval or some such. I don’t RELATE to those stories. I don’t relate to living in the countryside and living in an attic and pining for a British dood who talks without opening his mouth.
Besides, romance always feels made up, fabricated and moreover, a construct to keep women in their ‘place’. Because then a woman can spend her life searching for the dood who will bring her flowers, propose to her over the entire Tumblrverse, walk her through the park with an ugly diamond ring and tell her the future is now (fuck off, Kays Jewelers), and so on. And when that dood never shows up, then well, her life sucks and she’s a failure.
Oh and don’t think I think straight men are all that. What many think of as romantic can be manipulative and oppressive and they are susceptible to behaving that way, not because they believe it, but they feel obligated or have no clue.
You know what I appreciate? Equality. Good manners. Brains. And good fucking. I don’t need you to sit next to me, while I lay in bed, and sing me songs while strumming the guitar. Well, you can do that if you’re playing the Clash. Otherwise, NO.
You know what I love in a mate?
I’d like you to respect me. I’d like you to make me laugh or laugh along with me. I’d like you to clean up after yourself and behave like a self-sufficient adult. The other stuff? The recitation of poetry? The Lloyd Dobler, standing in front of my house holding a giant boom box playing Peter Gabriel? You can take that elsewhere. (via rosasparks)
i’m sure alot of you tumblrs love target. i do, too. however, i find myself negotiating, with myself, whether or not their trendy accent pieces and stylish home decor is worth the money. woman vs. woman struggle, of course. i find a lot of the same home decor at homegoods for much, much less. for example, target has a set of small, silver (metal) reindeer for $9.99 a piece. i snagged a set at homegoods (pretty much identical) for $3.99 a piece. my husband dreads our homegoods visits, especially now that we’re homeowners, because i never leave without purchasing a few things. they have unique holiday decorations, tablewear, furniture, and don’t even get me started on their kid’s decor, which is tres chic and tres affordable (and comparable to pottery barn kids). if you’re looking to spoof up your space for the holidays, or any time of year, check out homegoods. (i was not paid by homegoods to say these things. maybe i should be….? i could use the extra cash flow during this time of year!)
my husband isn’t afraid to defend me or what’s important to me and has done so, and continues to do so, in such a selfless, loving way without being asked or prompted. he has defended our love and places my well-being first and foremost for the nearly eight years that we’ve been together,and does so unconditionally, without worrying about who he pisses off or how it could affect him. regardless of how my family has treated him, he demonstrates his belief in second chances and making things right because he loves and supports me, unconditionally.
jolie often misbehaves within the couple of hours leading up to bedtime. i find myself constantly reminding her that she’s responsible for the choices she’s making and how she’s behaving. i also find myself telling her how disappointed i am with the choices she’s making, but that i understand she’s tired. in response, jolie will ask, “are you mad at me?” “no, i’m upset with how you’re behaving,” i’ll respond. “do you still love me?” “of course, i will always love you, jolie…even when you misbehave, i love you.” it’s to the point now that i’ll tell her i love her when she’s acting up to save her the time of rehearsing the question. i want her to know that now, at 4, and even when she’s 44 i will love and support her regardless of her behavior, or because we disagree on personal lifestyle preferenes. love is not conditional. sadly, this is not a notion i have learned from my parents. very sadly.
one my mom and dad gave me that I absolutely love and have loved since I was little. They bought it at the Z gallery years ago. It’s of a fair skinned woman wearing a low cut, long-sleeved black dress, and you can’t see her face which blends into the midnight blue background. Not sure why, but I’ve always loved it. The other framed picture was Brett’s anniversary present. I found an older-looking framed map and had someone at Hobby Lobby take off the back so that I could pin the locations we’ve been to as a couple, and then re-framed it.
We cleared out our back yard. The people we bought our house from had let our yard grow into the Secret Garden, which, come spring, was beautiful, but the rose bushes were deadly and Jolie had no where to play. My parents came over and helped us chop down a few trees, and take out a few of several rose bushes. We swept, raked and bagged all afternoon. Next spring we plan on tilling up the center of the yard, laying grass and keeping up with the flowers that will now make a nice (intentional) U in our backyard.
Prompted by my mother, we also cleaned out our garage. The sellers left many random things behind, including a beat-up car seat and exercise bike. My mom passive-aggressively hinted that we should clean it up. I aggressively told her we have so much going on and informed her that I barely have time to sit around and pick my nose. We ended up emptying out the garage. Thanks, mom.
Then Brett and I spent the evening at a couple of lovely Housewarming Parties. One hosted by, The Divine Ash and her hubby. It was a busy day, and it ended with much drinking and a fire pit.
-finish 4 (ish) loads of laundry (although i’m guessing brett did a little of that)
-watch my shows: dexter, californication and mad men
guess what i did do?
-i slept for 12 + hours!!!! I cannot remember the last time i slept this long. i woke up once to see where my daughter was and brett had put her to bed already. without waking little, ol’ me. i love sleep. and my husband for letting me sleep.
Jolie: your breath smells.
Me: because it’s early in the morning and it’s supposed to ( in a disgruntled voice because she woke me up super early on Saturday).
Jolie: cover your mouth with your hair (strategically places a piece of my hair over my lips).
Who wants a four year old? She’s potty trained, says please and thank you and can write her name? Any takers???!!!
Geez. I cannot focus. I spend a decent amount of time away from the office at schools molding minds about teen dating violence, so when I return for a full day it’s difficult not to spend some time catching up with co-workers, visiting silverglade’s for a cup of something (today it was hot chocolate with a dash of mint syrup), and catching up on here. I need to begin my more unstructured days with a pen and my notebook, making an organized list of “things to do.” I cannot focus.
A co-worked just turned me on to this. For $35 per devliery (weekly, bi-weekly, monthly) you can have all natural, organic, locally grown produce, meats, cheeses, bread and much more delivered to your door!
And, they donate back to the Free Store Foodbank! What could be better? Oh, you give to NPR? You have a membership card? BAM! 10% off!
Yes, Ashley, I will do this with you. I hate buying produce that looks just “okay” enough to give to my kid. I’m excited. Let’s do it!
Peace on Earth: the struggles of surviving the holidays with divorced parents
Remember that awful movie last year with Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon? The one where they had to visit the houses of their four divorced parents over Christmas. Intrigued by the plot, being that Brett and I both come from divorced families, I went and saw it with the idea that it would be “relatable.” Not even close. I typically dread the holidays, and hate that I dread them because I want to like them. Once you have a kid, the holidays take on a whole new meaning. it’s not about Brett and I, Its about Jolie and how much time she spends with each of her ten grandparents (she has great and great-greats still alive). Some of our parents have passive-aggressive approaches,”I thought you could open your presents here Christmas morning,” while others are blatantly clear in their selfishness,”you were supposed to be here an hour ago,” after we spent two to three hours in a car driving back and forth from two to three other places, with a baby.
For a type A “tell it like it is” girl, I break down during the holidays. For some reason I haven’t found the remedy to our over the top holiday itinerary, but I think it starts with putting family first. And with that in mind, Brett and I have vowed to stay home all day on Christmas and host dinner for our parents—our parents who have not had quite the same issues to deal withas children themselves.
That’s as far as Ive gotten on my quest for peace on earth during the last few months of the year. What’s your remedy for the madness
Brett and I got back super late from the concert last night and I had to work super early this morning. Therefore, Jolie and I (and Stella) are being evening couch potatoes and scrummaging through Halloween candy. Sometimes my routine is even too routine for me.